Birth Day.
My mother once told me that on the day of my birth, she
foresaw something in me. She could sense
that I was special and destined for something great. I think all mother’s believe in their new
child’s uniqueness and trust in their eventual power to rid the world of its
maladies. I’d like to think she was
right…that there’s some greater purpose to my life than just myself.
Perhaps it was the events of my birth that led to her
thinking. The March day she went into
labor I wasn’t due for another 2 weeks.
No matter, the ultrasound stated I was roughly 8 pounds, about the size
of her first baby. She was no
novice. Labor was as fine as any labor
can be, and then something was wrong.
Stuck. A case of shoulder
dystocia. Whereby after delivery of the
head, the anterior shoulder of the infant cannot pass below the pubic
symphysis. In my case, my right shoulder
wouldn’t budge. Is he supposed to be blue like that? No, that’s from the compressed umbilical
cord. Pull. Episiotomy.
Break the clavicle. There. He’s
out. He’s breathing and we didn’t even
break the clavicle. Good show, 10 pounds
2 ounces. A few days later, damage was
discovered to the brachial plexus nerves.
Brachial plexus - a bundle of nerves that runs from the neck down to the
fingertips.
Birthing trauma. It
makes me think of the maternal pain and anguish during birth. However, the baby also suffers as it
traumatically travels through the birth canal.
Most babies travel unscathed.
Some have lasting effects. As a
child, I remember hearing the story in Genesis where God condemns women with
painful childbirth. I wondered if my
injury was related to that curse. That
this stupid, weak arm was an evil that I had to bear. Maybe.
Sometimes I have dreams where I have “normal” arms – except they are two
left arms. It’s hard to imagine that my
right arm could be as strong as my left.
My right and left legs are of equal strength, so I guess it’s like that.
Is there a reason for this?
That question has always been the same.
Thankfully the answers change.
Right now I would say it has taught me, is teaching me, patience with
myself.
-Josh W.
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