Many of you know that I enjoy my work, that I find meaning in it, and that it is thus a difficult thing to leave. But I don't feel that I've shared a lot about what I do, so I'm going to follow in Katie's footsteps and describe some aspects of my job. This may be part of the process of verbalizing aspects that will be helpful in mourning and moving on.
When I first started at Messiah, it was a means to an end, namely to get Katie through grad school. When this position I'm in opened up, it was supposed to be temporary- just one year. Then it turned into 2...then 3...now 4. I remember talking about how I never wanted to be someone that ended up at Messiah. Though I understand that, and still generally feel the same sentiment, I also would be lying if I said that this move to WV is not without it's daily doubts and pain.
Today, a student dropped in to share what's been going on in her life. She isn't someone I supervise, but I've met with her a bunch the past 2 year. We often talk about how much she takes on, what balance looks like, and how to care for one's self. This time, we ended talking about the differences between her and her very traditional Cuban family, and how it was difficult to come home and have a different perspective on life than what she had growing up. While she was talking, she was coloring with markers (a helpful means of processing for her). It ended with her feeling relieved, relaxed, and listened to.
One of my student directors is the most phenomenal administrators I've ever met. Her skills of organization and management make me look like I'm a spontaneous Type B. But she needs work on an interpersonal level. She's worked at the center for 3 years now, and often begrudgingly sits in our meetings when I make suggestions of how relational
Here's the thing- this has been one of the only places where some of my natural tendencies have really shined as strengths, whereas other times they seem to be more pejorative. For instance, my ability to be challenge people, to be contrary, this is something that has helped to push my students beyond their usual expectations and to help them succeed beyond what they would normally. This is one of the things that the student director has said has most changed her. I try to pull out strengths from my students that they often don't recognize, but also challenge areas that they may be unaware of.
I feel like I'm good at my job. I'm more type A than I like to admit, but that helps me to balance and juggle 4-5 mtgs a day, with constant emails, and unexpected drop-ins from students. And I love that. I love a job that capitalizes on both my skills of organization/management and relationality. Despite the busyness of my work, I normally still watch parts of the Daily Show during lunch, take time to relax, and enjoy the barefoot walks to and from work.
Maybe I'm drawn to feeling self-important, and having students value my thoughts and opinions (surprising that I like to share both of those!). But I also love seeing students transform through a year or two of mentoring. Through the 3 years I've supervised and mentored the student director, I've tried to strike the balance that I attempt with all my students: support and challenge. I support her where she's doing great, help supplement her where she needs help, but also push her and confront her desire to stay where she's at and to work on enhancing her skills in new ways. This is what the job has been for me too. I've been pushed and challenged beyond my own comfort zone, but also supported by an incredible community that loves me and cares for me.
This sounds like a lot of self-important BS. But it's more than that to me. I know I have skills that are a good match for the job, yet I know many people could do as good a job. It's just rewarding to be in a place where you can see people who didn't care about inclusive language turn into feminists (last year I had a student burst into my office yelling, "Keith, I think I'm a feminist now!!!"), or a white student sharing how difficult it is to process privilege, or a black student feeling comfortable enough with me to share a painful racialized incident, or another student of color challenge me into recognizing how connected I am to current elite power structures, despite my language saturated with "justice". I love that I also feel challenged and supported in my work. I have grown immensely in the 5 years I've been at Messiah. I'm sad to leave it, but I hope it has prepared me for what's to come.
When I first started at Messiah, it was a means to an end, namely to get Katie through grad school. When this position I'm in opened up, it was supposed to be temporary- just one year. Then it turned into 2...then 3...now 4. I remember talking about how I never wanted to be someone that ended up at Messiah. Though I understand that, and still generally feel the same sentiment, I also would be lying if I said that this move to WV is not without it's daily doubts and pain.
Today, a student dropped in to share what's been going on in her life. She isn't someone I supervise, but I've met with her a bunch the past 2 year. We often talk about how much she takes on, what balance looks like, and how to care for one's self. This time, we ended talking about the differences between her and her very traditional Cuban family, and how it was difficult to come home and have a different perspective on life than what she had growing up. While she was talking, she was coloring with markers (a helpful means of processing for her). It ended with her feeling relieved, relaxed, and listened to.
One of my student directors is the most phenomenal administrators I've ever met. Her skills of organization and management make me look like I'm a spontaneous Type B. But she needs work on an interpersonal level. She's worked at the center for 3 years now, and often begrudgingly sits in our meetings when I make suggestions of how relational
Here's the thing- this has been one of the only places where some of my natural tendencies have really shined as strengths, whereas other times they seem to be more pejorative. For instance, my ability to be challenge people, to be contrary, this is something that has helped to push my students beyond their usual expectations and to help them succeed beyond what they would normally. This is one of the things that the student director has said has most changed her. I try to pull out strengths from my students that they often don't recognize, but also challenge areas that they may be unaware of.
I feel like I'm good at my job. I'm more type A than I like to admit, but that helps me to balance and juggle 4-5 mtgs a day, with constant emails, and unexpected drop-ins from students. And I love that. I love a job that capitalizes on both my skills of organization/management and relationality. Despite the busyness of my work, I normally still watch parts of the Daily Show during lunch, take time to relax, and enjoy the barefoot walks to and from work.
Maybe I'm drawn to feeling self-important, and having students value my thoughts and opinions (surprising that I like to share both of those!). But I also love seeing students transform through a year or two of mentoring. Through the 3 years I've supervised and mentored the student director, I've tried to strike the balance that I attempt with all my students: support and challenge. I support her where she's doing great, help supplement her where she needs help, but also push her and confront her desire to stay where she's at and to work on enhancing her skills in new ways. This is what the job has been for me too. I've been pushed and challenged beyond my own comfort zone, but also supported by an incredible community that loves me and cares for me.
This sounds like a lot of self-important BS. But it's more than that to me. I know I have skills that are a good match for the job, yet I know many people could do as good a job. It's just rewarding to be in a place where you can see people who didn't care about inclusive language turn into feminists (last year I had a student burst into my office yelling, "Keith, I think I'm a feminist now!!!"), or a white student sharing how difficult it is to process privilege, or a black student feeling comfortable enough with me to share a painful racialized incident, or another student of color challenge me into recognizing how connected I am to current elite power structures, despite my language saturated with "justice". I love that I also feel challenged and supported in my work. I have grown immensely in the 5 years I've been at Messiah. I'm sad to leave it, but I hope it has prepared me for what's to come.
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